Sweaty Hands, Racing Heart and Bitter Pangs
by Midnight's Violet Haze
Summary: Syaoran ponders upon the hole in his heart and how it came to be. He's better off anyway. Oneshot, Onesided TomoyoSyaoran, SyaoranSakura


**Hey there! It's been a while, but with summer here, I have an unlimited amount of time to wriiiiite! (at least until school starts again -_-')**

**I have NOOO idea where this came from, but check it out! It has my beloved crack pairing TomoyoxSyaoran in it, but depressing as I tend to like my crack pairings. Yes, I am masochist :P**

**Sorry if it insults you're fave pair of Sakura/Syaoran, but, to put it bluntly, I hate Sakura. :| yeah, that's how it is. Also, sorry if there's any OOC-ness, but I've only got a few episodes and fanfictions to go from, so bear with me. Also, I am very rusty from not writing in FOR-EV-AH, so I apologize in advance to your precious eyes and good taste, they will take a beating...**

**Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura does not belong to me, though I wish Tomo-can did -3-**

**And on with the story...**

* * *

Sweaty Hands, Racing Hearts and Bitter Pangs

Syaoran Li, age 45, sits upon a picnic bench with his wife, Sakura Li nee Kinomoto. As they watch their two children run around the park in childish glee, Syaoran feels Sakura's soft hand envelope his own.

A feeling of comfort washes over him and he is not surprised. After all, that is how his relationship with Sakura has always been. Like an old childhood teddy bear or a familiar, worn sweatshirt, Sakura has always made him feel comfortable. Sure, there was a little anxiety and nerves in their younger years, but nothing that ever made his palms sweat or his heart race.

Nothing that ever made him lose control of his bodily functions.

Syaoran can remember a sweet, calm young girl that once told him, oh-so-wisely in a tone so sure that he couldn't help but believe her, that: _"When even the simplest smile can make your heart pound a mile a minute; there is no better feeling than love, Li-kun."_

That one girl that spent countless amounts of time explaining the emotions of the human heart _to_ him was also the one girl that tried to sort out his own feelings _with_ him and also the one girl to evoke such feelings _from_ him.

* * *

_Sipping from his nearly empty cup of tea, Syaoran looked at the blue haired beauty in front of him who was currently occupied in lecturing him about something or another in that patient and gentle way of hers. _

_Taking a deep breath, he thought to himself, 'This is it, it's now or never'._

_He reached across the table and cradled the small, pale hands in his own large and embarrassingly sweaty ones. Staring deeply into indigo eyes he paused for a second as he felt his cheeks flush hotly, his heart threatening to burst out of his ribcage and plop right out to the girl it wanted to belong to. Though he longed to speak it, he couldn't bring himself to call her by her given name for the first time, so instead, without any address, he said with all his courage, "I love you!"_

_Tomoyo Daidouji blinked, startled. Then, quite slowly, her pink lips bloomed into a beautiful, warm smile. _

'_Ba-Dump, Ba-Dump , Ba-Dump' Syaoran's heart worked overtime, blood rushing to his head, making the sounds of the noisy café almost inaudible. _

"_That's great Li-kun!" Syaoran felt his own lips stretching into a genuine grin._

"_If you say it like that, I'm sure Sakura-chan will definitely accept! So now that we've got that worked out let's move onto the flowers. I think that—"_

'_Ba-Dump…Ba…dump.." Syaoran grimaced in pain as he felt his heart splutter to a stop._

* * *

After that one incident, Syaoran could honestly swear that his heart had never beat again.

He turned towards his wife, acknowledging her bright smile with a nod, thankful for the comfort she provided that almost, but never fully, filled the hollow space in his chest.

Syaoran scoffed at the memory. He had a wife and kids and a job; his life was perfect even without such stupid feelings. In his mind, Tomoyo Daidouji was synonymies with foolishness and pain because, for all her self-confidence and belief in her own words, Tomoyo Daidouji didn't know anything.

Feeling a bitter pang in his empty chest, Syaoran squeezed Sakura's willing hand desperately, begging for the familiar comfort to chase away the pain.

'_After all, wasn't it you, Tomoyo, that said that Sakura and I were the definition of true love? You really didn't know anything in the end. Love doesn't exist for me anymore because you took my heart and didn't have the decency to give me your own.'_

* * *

**So, how was it?**

**It's my first CCS, so I could use some feedback please and thank you!**

**Happy Summer-times! Don't let 'em go to waste!**

**With genuine good wishes, **

**Midnight's Violet Haze**

**HS**


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